its odd having such a public illness. the baldness gives it away, even with hats and scarves (unless you are in a blizzard, as i have mentioned.). i suppose i could wear a wig, but it would be hard to find a wig that looks like i got out of the shower, forgot to brush my hair and it dried funny--and anything else would lok unnatural.
people are kind though. strangers hold doors open for me, they offer to let me go ahead of them when a cashier opens another check-out lane and asks for the next in line, they smile at me on the sidewalk, and they even look apologetic when they have stolen my parking space and then see me.
i worry now though about all the people out there who have life-threatening conditions of their own in which there is nothing to give it away. they have been all around me, unacknowledged and struggling, as i have been obliviously living my life. who lets them cut in line?
but maybe if we could tell it would just be too much for everyone, to try to care about so many people as we do our errands and the business of our everyday lives.
whatever. i will try to do a better job of smiling and holding doors for strangers. just in case.