physical inventory #2

ok, two weeks after my second chemo:

• my scar has healed nicely, the dent is a little bigger, and i've regained feeling in my armpit.
• i have now lost a total of twelve pounds. 
• the disgusting thrush is under control with meds.
• my taste buds are completely whacked out and almost nothing tastes good.
• i am tired by afternoon.
• i wake up at 2:00. my brain is wide awake and annoying at that time, but i can usually go back to sleep.  
• i am bald. not smooth bald, but bald like a newly-hatched chick, with just a few attempts at feathers

i am tired of the mind-body connection. i would like to send my body out for treatment, like dropping a coat off at the dry cleaners, while i hover around, body-free. i would pick it up later, when it is all clean and fresh, with the rips repaired and the missing buttons replaced.