Saturday, September 12, 2009

a bump in the road

they must teach this in medical school because I have heard "It's a bump in the road" now from three doctors. No. A bump in the road is when you are driving down Russell just a little too fast, go over a speed strip, hear a clunk, and think "Oops."

i know it is said with the very best intentions. But what they really mean is:

1) you are not going to die. (Oh wait, we are all going to die eventually. Even me. Shit. Thanks for the reminder.)

2) you will probably feel like hell at some point. (That sucks. But I feel fine now. Well, except for that queazy feeling when I think about it.)

3) you will definitely use up more than your fair share of health care resources. (There's no way on a cost/benefit basis that I could possibly deserve that. Now I feel guilty.)

4) and those resources will be filled with indignities. (Which will, however, allow me to utilize my adolescent sarcasm as a refuge.)

which reminds me of my favorite Animaniacs cartoon, in which the little cartoon character is sitting happily at the bottom of a cliff while we see an anvil falling directly above him. The action stops and a deep, booming voice pronounces: "Denial. The last refuge of the doomed."

well, I thought it was funny.

1 comment:

  1. If you think of your cost-benefits analysis in terms of the larger picture and factor in your contributions to the world, I think that they will OWE you money in the end!
    (also see: Cheney, Dick - total cost of medical care v. total amount of evil unleashed on unsuspecting world)