everyone around me wants me to feel better, which is very sweet. and they are happier when i feel better, because they care. i don't feel better, but i have discovered that i can pretend that i do--and people believe me. (they even tell me i look good, which is clearly a triumph of wishful thinking.) so now, having discovered that, i almost have a responsibility to pretend. but it's really, really hard.
i understand now that how i feel won't last forever, but i also know it won't get any better until it is over. (i think this is the acceptance part.)
could i just say that? that i feel like junk, but i know it won't last forever so it's ok. wouldn't that be all right? i am really too tired to pretend.